Where to start?
First and foremost, to thank God and my father for putting me into Monte Pio and not some other girls’ home. I didn’t have the shockingly terrifying experiences of many children who were placed in care, in institutions and homes throughout Australia. The broken spirits and the thread of fear that runs through all the stories I have read, have caused me a few tears.
I have always been secure in the knowledge that my father loved me and was there for me. When my father became a single parent, my sister, brother and I were put in homes to stop us from being made Wards of the State. During my early years at Monte he was very visible, and took decisive action on the only occasion I was beaten. Mind you I was caned on occasion, and one particular nun had her own special way of trying to undermine your sense of self. She would also punch you in the back with an extended knuckle and pull your ears. Most of the nuns were beautiful people and treated us well. The Sister in charge was distant; there were no cuddles and very rarely a word of encouragement. She spent a large part of her day and all of the night with the girls and was responsible for the well being of all of us. (In hind-sight the responsibility must have been enormous.) She had a room with an en-suite (we called it a cell) off one of the dormitories, but ate with the other sisters. In later years another room was built between two other dormitories and a second sister was assigned to assist with caring for the girls. The Mother Superior and a few other Sisters would take it in turns to supervise our recreation time, our evening meal break and homework/study periods.
I have a friend who was at Monte with me, who accused me of “being in denial and trying to please my abusers”. My memories are not the same as hers. She talks of slave labour. I must have lived in fairy land because I have no memory of this, or we have conflicting ideas of what constitutes slave labour. Yes, we had chores we were expected to perform each day, and the older girls were each responsible for a couple of younger girls, (putting out clean clothes for them to wear each day, making their beds, cleaning their shoes, collecting their clean clothes and putting them away, etc); some of the older girls would help the sister in charge to bath the younger girls and get them ready for bed. Every afternoon after school there was time for recreation of one form or another.
Our dirty clothes went to the laundry every day and in the evening we all assembled to collect our clean clothes which were marked with name tags. Our sheets were washed weekly and if a girl wet the bed the sheets would be stripped and the bed remade with clean sheets. We had sewing bees from time to time, where the older girls were expected to help with sewing name tags on clothing, darn socks and help out with mending. There were a couple of sewing machines always set up to mend something. Two or three girls worked in the laundry under the supervision of a nun, as was the case in the kitchen. There was an industrial dish washing machine we used to wash and dry our dishes/cutlery and about four maybe more girls were responsible for clearing up after meals and resetting tables. After breakfast a couple of girls would make sandwiches for morning tea. We had our main/hot meal in the middle of the day, after which a couple of girls would make more sandwiches for afternoon tea unless we had fruit or biscuits. Our chores were rotated often, so that for a couple of weeks or so you would be working in the servery, washing up and setting tables and the next couple of weeks you could be sweeping and tidying a dormitory or even taking a turn cleaning bathrooms or washbasins. The laundry was fitted out with a BIG industrial tumble washing machine, dryer, a steam press, a drying room and a couple of irons and ironing boards. We had a couple of ironing boards and irons as well in the girls ‘day’ washroom so that we could iron our uniform during the week if we wanted, or any other personal items. The only laundry and cooking being done at Monte was for the sisters, the priest and the girls.
Saturday was cleaning day and we washed walls and scrubbed stairs; washed and polished floors, dusted, cleaned bathrooms and washbasins, we cleaned shoes, and so the list goes on. After the weekly chores were completed on Saturday we were free to play, read or just hang out. We enjoyed supervised walks ‘over the hills’ from time to time; we went to the Maitland baths in summer, took turns to go to the movies and every so often enjoyed in-house movies until the advent of television. We had a play area with see-saws, slippery dip, swings and a razzle-dazzle, we had a netball court and had no trouble finding enough girls interested in having a game, we had access to a tennis court although I don’t remember actually playing tennis on it. We played vigoro and other ball games, shuttle cock, skipping games, hop-scotch, we became quite skilled with hula hoops and yoyos, both of which gave us many hours of pleasure. A favourite game for the younger girls was “Drop the Hanky”. We played cards, board games, Jacks, fiddle-sticks and so the list goes on. There was something of interest for everyone; we were only limited by the extent of our imagination.
I remember when I was quite young watching others play and being too shy to join in. I also remember being afraid to make a friend because I no sooner had one and she would disappear. Later, when I was older I learnt through the grapevine that this girl, or that one, had left to go back home, that she had only been at Monte because her mother was sick, had had a baby or some other family situation. I remember how much I missed my family after having a holiday with them; how I would cry myself to sleep for days afterwards. I remember using two nails for knitting needles when I was teaching myself to knit; also French knitting, though where we got the cotton reels and nails to hammer into them, I have no idea. I had a doll and pram and I remember how devastated and upset I was on returning from a holiday to find that they were missing. I remember being lonely, but I also remember having lots of fun, laughing a lot and how we would short-sheet a girl’s bed and waiting impatiently for her to discover it. I remember dancing lessons and for a time having dances in the assembly hall and how much fun that was! Talking of the Assembly Hall, we prayed in there, we played in there; we had both choir and concert practice in there. We even had concerts in there until the new stage in the school grounds was built. But best of all we saw in-house movies in there. There were many movies over the years but the one I remember best was “The Bells of St Mary’s”.
I remember going to Mass every day until the last couple of years while I was there. Of course we went to Mass every Sunday, but it was decided that on a week-day we could choose for ourselves whether we went or not. I’m not sure whether it was suggested that we go to Mass at least once maybe twice during the week, but could be proven wrong here. The proviso was that if we didn’t go to Mass then our charges/jobs had to be done by the time the Sister returned. I also remember singing in the choir at Mass, also singing at midnight Mass a couple of times.
I remember that we were not allowed to talk after lights out, and how we would leave the door to our shoe lockers ajar so that when the sister in charge passed by them on her way upstairs, we would hear her closing them. I’m sure she knew why we did this and she would deliberately slam a couple of doors as a warning that she was coming. I can remember getting caught in the pantry with a mouthful of icing sugar and how I almost choked on it when I saw the sister in charge standing at the door. I think she must have felt the coughing fit that started from my indrawn breath on seeing her, was punishment enough, because she stood watching me cough with tears running from my eyes for what seemed like an eternity before telling me to go and get a glass of water. Another time the sister in charge caught me coming out of the kitchen with hands and pockets full of toast crusts. She told me to give her three reasons why I shouldn’t be punished, and I did! I can still remember my surprise when she told me that I’d talk my way out of a paper bag and gave me permission to go, toast crusts and all!
I remember riding on the razzle-dazzle and how dangerous it could be for the little ones if the older girls pushed it too fast. If you were sitting in the middle there was nowhere to hold on except for the seat itself and with it going in and out as well as round and round, fingers and feet could be hurt. I remember when I was in high school a new priest coming to the parish, he would come over to the home with the sister in charge to meet and talk with the girls. I remember the excitement when I was chosen along with four or five others to go for a drive in his car. He would take a car-load of us at a time for a drive and buy us each an ice cream or some other treat. There must have been a couple of lists drawn up because everyone got a turn of going for a drive and a visit to the local picture theatre. I also remember we went on picnics of sorts, parties, received presents and also going to the Dominican Convent to see a concert or two. I remember going to the Maitland show and in high school competing in sports and marching competitions.
We attended school fetes every year – I can still remember the excitement of lining up to receive some spending money and the feeling of anticipation about what I would spend my money on! We put on concerts as fund-raisers – I remember at one concert I was performing an Irish dance, solo, when I slipped. I ended up sliding across the stage with my feet in the air! I picked myself up and continued to dance but for the next performance I was instructed to wear my school shoes and not the special shoes I’d worn the night before that matched the costume I wore. I also remember being a witch at another concert and when I jumped out from behind a screen I could hear the little ones in the audience scream.
We also had button days where we went out around the Maitland/Newcastle area and sold badges and rattled our boxes for donations. How I loved these days! I remember being given money to buy lunch and how much I enjoyed potato scallops and/or chips with vinegar and wrapped in newspaper!
I remember that visiting day was once a month on the 4th Sunday of the month; your visitors took you out for the day. The girls whose families lived in the Maitland/Newcastle area were able to catch the bus or train home for the day, providing it had been confirmed with their parent/s. I remember being allowed to spend the day with a friend and her family on a couple of occasions when my father couldn’t come to see me. I didn’t like it when I had no visitors and shed a tear or two. There were also times when I was able to take a friend with me when he did come. There was a strict rule that any money and lollies etc had to be handed in when we returned at the end of the day. If anyone kept their stash and the sister found out, they were punished. The lollies were pooled and rationed out, so the girls who had no-one to visit them had a share as well. I can remember my father telling me that he not only clothed me while at Monte Pio but others as well. There were times when he bought a new item of clothing for me only to discover that someone else was given it. This didn’t happen only to me but other girls as well. If the sister in charge felt that one girl had too much, she would take some of the clothes and give them to another girl who had very little and possibly needed them more.
From time to time there were girls who had nowhere to go for school holidays, so the nuns arranged with families in the area to take them. (I don’t know how they organized this.) I spent a number of holidays this way as my father would take my brother who was also in a home. I had lovely holidays with a couple of different families, spending more holidays with one particular family. I remember one Christmas being given two most beautiful dresses and felt like a princess. The lady who took me for holidays made them herself; sitting up at night sewing after I had gone to bed. I often think of her and the family’s kindness to me. I’ve heard since that some girls who spent holidays with families were not as lucky as I. They were taken to help with housework and look after younger children; whether the nuns knew this, I don’t know.
I’ve heard stories where some of the Monte Pio girls felt they were not treated as well as the day pupils at school. I have never felt this way, especially in high school, we were all friends and I’m still in contact with some of them today. I was given a good education in high school. I just loved my high school teachers; they gave me every encouragement and treated me fairly and because of this I tried to do well. I wasn’t taken out of school to work in either the laundry or kitchen, although others were. I remember the Monte Pio girls were called “orphans” or referred to as “the orphans” which had a stigma attached. I’ve wondered if the sisters were aware of this and tried doubly hard to ensure that we were always clean and tidy and set such high standards as guide-lines (my thoughts only, here.) I’ve also wondered if the stigma of being classed an orphan was imagined by us, caused by our own insecurity or was in-fact the general feeling of some of the community. I have come to believe that it was a feeling in the community, albeit a very small section of the community at that time, due to their own misconceptions or plain ignorance.
35 years after I left Monte Pio, an ex-Monte Pio girl and I were to meet two of the “town girls” or day pupils from school, for a coffee and chat and to make a very long story short, we were late. When we arrived at our meeting place one of the town girls thought nothing of telling us verbatum of the conversation they had prior to our arrival and it goes like this. 1st Person: “Do you think they are coming, are they reliable?” 2nd person: “How would you know, after-all they were orphans, you don’t know where they came from or what they are really like.” I have not experienced these sentiments from any other of the girls I’ve been in contact with over the years. In-fact some were appalled on learning of the occurrence.
Many years after leaving Monte, during a discussion with one of the sisters from Monte Pio she told how the nuns had to answer to the Mother Superior and were not allowed to get close to the girls, not allowed to cuddle us and were expected to be strict etc. She also told how years later when further training became a compulsory prerequisite for caring for children; the nuns were horrified to learn how wrong some of their methods had been.
Reflecting on my life at Monte Pio and those early years after Monte, I realise how very fortunate I was to have a supportive parent to give me stability and a sense of security while I made the transition from the security of Monte to coping on my own. I remember having nightmares before leaving Monte because I was afraid of going out into that big wide world.
In closing I can only say that my experiences while at Monte Pio and those early years after, formed the foundation of who I am today.